The Whys and Hows

Last night I went out to dinner with my friends Terri and Diane. We had a great time…as we always do. Seriously, the tables around us should probably be paying extra for the entertainment. Three widows out for dinner is sometimes not the conversation you would expect…we go from teary-eyed to laughing so hard we’re crying…and back again…so many times. I am so grateful to have these two ladies in my life. I don’t have to pretend with them…sugarcoat things…act like I’m fine when I’m not. I can be real with them.

And then last night I couldn’t sleep…again. There’s just so much running through my head. Whys and Hows mostly. I’m sure you can imagine the questions….Why did God tear Jason away from his family? How is that a plan that in any way makes sense? How could he possibly be in a better place than here on Earth with his family? etc. etc. etc. Honestly, if God has some sort of big plan I think He needs to reevaluate what He’s doing.

God's Plan?

God has a plan
They say.
For every woman
And every man.

Trust Him
They say.
Nothing is a whim
But part of the grand design.

I want to say yes-
It would be easier
Than this doubt I guess.
But I don’t understand.

How is tearing a good man
Away from his wife and kids
In any way a good plan?
It doesn’t make sense.

Have faith
They say.
Happiness is still in your path.
All I see is sadness.

He’s in a better place
They say.
But his favorite space
Was here.

I know he didn’t want to go.
So why?
Why am I left solo?
There must be some mistake.
2016 Family Vacation

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