I have a list of things to do today to get ready for dinner tonight (fondue with the kids) and brunch tomorrow, but instead I’m sitting on the couch feeling lonely and weepy. Jason and I always made a good team on Christmas Eve. He knew doing all the putzy kitchen stuff stressed me out so he would pour me wine and help with everything. He would usually take charge of cutting everything up for fondue while I would do the baking. He was also the pro at putting together the Overnight French Toast for Christmas brunch. Inevitably, I would have forgotten to get something from the grocery store and he would get in the car and fight the crowds without complaint to get the forgotten item…plus usually a few other things he found…because that’s the way Fregien men roll. If I forgot anything in my grocery order yesterday that’s just too bad…we’re going to have to make do without.
Thank you to everyone that is keeping our family in your thoughts and prayers this Christmas. I did have several special deliveries to my door yesterday that made me smile and reminded me that even though “my person” is no longer here, I still do have “my people”.
Blue Christmas The spirit of Christmas fills the air I used to feel it too Now all I feel is empty inside No joy in my heart without you. I’m going through the motions Putting up the tree Buying gifts and baking Missing you here with me. Grief is my constant companion now Sadness overflows my eyes Everywhere I look reminds me Of our last goodbyes. Empty spaces everywhere That used to be filled with you Now your ghost is all we have Christmas not white, but blue. The kids and I will do our best Keeping alive tradition But every second of the Holiday It will be you we’re missing.
Love, Tennis, and Cancer 