Loving Eyes

My cold has gotten a lot better today…thank you to everyone who checked in on me today. My sister asked me tonight if I was “hydrated and medicated”…I told her I was on my second glass of wine…so yes? Truth is that I feel a lot better physically, but my mental and emotional state are….not sure what the right word is…melancholy?

I tried starting a new series on Netflix…”Shadow and Bone”…it’s based on a book series that I have read. I forgot about the underlying romances in the storyline…ugh… I watched a few episodes and then turned it off. It’s frustrating because “normally” it’s the type of series that I would love…fantasy, intrigue, romance…now it just all makes me sad.

Then I was working on some Christmas gifts. I almost feel like I need to apologize to anyone that gets a gift from me this year because they are not at all uplifting, fun gifts. I did almost all of my shopping on Etsy…and some I created myself. Maybe I should hand out little packs of Kleenex with my gifts?

I had music going, like I usually do. Spotify thought I would really like the song “Tuesdays” by Jake Scott. Spotify gets me. I’d like more Tuesdays….or anydays.

And then because I guess I’m a glutton for punishment and “Tuesdays” had me thinking about weddings I was watching clips of Jason and I dancing at his brother’s wedding…and then that led to this poem.

Loving Eyes

When the sadness feels so heavy
Concrete block sitting on my chest

And the tears fall from my eyes
But the scream is stuck inside

I look at pictures and watch videos
I need so bad to see you

To see your smile, the way you moved
Your laugh, the way you looked at me

With eyes that had a special language
That spoke straight to my heart

They told me how much you loved me
How you didn’t want to leave

I wanted those eyes, that love
For the rest of my life

But instead I had them
For yours.