I still feel a little “hot mess express” today, but I’m working on trying to find my equilibrium. The combination of work being really stressful right now and struggling in my personal life is a horrible combination. I am blessed to have a fantastic boss and coworkers who are trying to ease the strain for me a little bit, but I still am constantly giving myself pep talks, taking deep breaths, and going in my office for a few moments of reprieve. All of our courts are being resurfaced so I am also inhaling paint fumes all day…NOT GOOD.
I have some plans this week that I’m looking to…that helps a little bit. Tonight, the dogs and I went for a walk with my friend Jen and her dog Scarlett. That was fantastic…yeah for fresh air and conversation. Tomorrow, my Amy is coming to visit me at work…she has already promised to give me a big ‘ole hug…which I will gladly accept. Then, I am meeting my friends Terri and Diane for drinks after grief counseling. Friday, I took the day off work to go to a huge craft fair with Jason’s sister. I’m a little nervous that the craft fair will be overwhelming, but hopefully it will be fine…either way I’m looking forward to spending time with my sister-in-law. Saturday, I am meeting my sister for coffee and a walk.
My brain is still very full of poetry. A few people have commented that I should put it in a book. Maybe someday…I am way to sensitive about it right now to have someone read it that might critique it and tell me it’s horrible. When it is in my blog only people that like it comment…and it just helps me express my feelings.
Send Me Some Strength The nurse said “Let him go Marie His time is almost here”. I whispered “Goodbye I love you Babe” With my lips against your ear. I told you we would be okay The kids and I Without you. Three months have gone by now I fear what I said was Untrue. Everyday I wake up Feeling so sad and Lonely. Getting through each day Feels like drudgery without My one and only. I don’t know how to find My happy place My peace Without you by my side My world feels Incomplete. I know deep down inside I’ll be okay Someday. But today it feels like Sadness is here To stay. Please send me some strength From up there in The clouds. I hope that when you watch us You feel at least a little bit Proud.