Feeling over-tired and emotional tonight. I had a really good time in Eau Claire with Emily and Tim. We went out for breakfast this morning and then headed over to the UW-Eau Claire Homecoming Game to watch the marching band. We got there early enough to chat with Anna and her friend Ashleigh beforehand.
The marching band also did a “tailgate show” before the game started that was really fun. Anna was in the back row so we were only able to catch glimpses of her now and again. We did manage to snag a picture as they were walking into the stadium.
We suffered through watching the first half of the football game…and then watched the Halftime Show. I was excited that we sat on the correct side of the field and I was able to pick Anna out pretty easily. She is the second trumpet from the left in this picture
I left to come home after the Halftime Show and then went to watch Levi play tennis.
He lost his first match and won his second match. He hadn’t played a match for a couple of months so he enjoyed competing again. He has really been working hard on improving his technique and game strategy. I love watching him play…although he told me he started playing bad when I started watching…sigh. He never complained about Jason watching him.
Jason would be so proud of how well our kids are doing. They obviously miss him. We talk about him…what he would’ve said or done in certain situations. I think in a lot of ways having their Dad here and seeing how sick he was…how he couldn’t do the things he loved to do with them anymore…how he was in pain…and then ultimately watching him die…that was extremely hard on them. Now they are feeling more settled…more secure in their day-to-day…they are able to look to the future. I am so proud of them. They bring me joy like nothing else can…just seeing them happy…doing the things they love…indescribable emotion. They are living like their Dad wanted them to.
Then there’s me. So broken. Even though I had fun in Eau Claire a huge part of me was just bleeding inside the whole time. Seeing all the other happy couples there. Every young college couple was Jason and I. Listening to conversations around us on the bleachers…a couple behind us who had met at UWEC and got married…just like we did. All these people not even realizing how lucky they are…blissfully going about their lives. By the time the Halftime Show was over I was ready to run out of there…by the time I got to my car tears were rolling down my cheeks. Jason would have loved to be there today seeing his Girl. I wanted him next to me…watching her…talking about how amazing she is.