California Day 3

We had a great time watching tennis yesterday. We watched Kokkinakis v Arnaldi. Such amazing tennis. The points were crazy. The first set I think every game went to deuce several times. And we were sitting so close…just amazing. We also watched the first couple of sets of Popyrin v Daniel before our Minnesota skin had enough sun and we headed back to the house. I think the temp got up to like 73ish yesterday and it felt more like 80. I’m not complaining about that at all!

Spent the rest of the day relaxing by the pool and enjoying the hot tub and fire table outside at our house.

I am having a really good time. It feels good to get away from the norm for awhile and the sun is working wonders on my psyche for sure. I’m more relaxed than I have been in a long while…no doubt about that. It’s difficult to stay present in the now…making new memories…enjoying this time and all that it has to offer. I really, really try…but countless times a day I think of Jason and how he would have loved this…and it makes me so sad that he never got to experience anything like this…and all I can really do is be grateful that I am able to experience this with our boys.

And then there are the moments that I just miss vacationing with my husband. The quiet times when it would have been just he and I relaxing and connecting in different ways than we did in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. When we would be having fun and just enjoying each other’s company. And those are the moments that it’s hard to breathe and that lump in my throat comes back.

Present Sadness

By people
I love

Still you
My thoughts

Be present
Live now
Make memories

I’m trying but
My heart

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