Valentine’s Day…definitely not anywhere on my list of favorite days anymore. Jason was always good at Valentine’s Day. He didn’t always do the same thing, but always something. A card…flowers…chocolates…balloons. I think it all depended on whether he was shopping for me solo, or whether he took the kids along to help. I remember one year they were really into those cards that play music when you open them. That was a fun…and noisy year! Once the kids were old enough to stay home alone we would sometimes go out for dinner, but most often wait until later in the evening and go out for a drink and dessert. Always to Portercreek. It was “our spot”. Probably won’t ever go there again. Some places just feel too full of memories that I don’t want to “cover up” by going there again.
Spaces and places. I’ve been learning about myself more and more that I put a lot of emotional value on spaces and places. Portercreek…where we went for drinks. Osaka…hibachi on my birthday. Ruttgers…family vacation. Cabin on Geneva Lake…our last anniversary together. My gazebo…peace in nature. Purple chair in my room…reading. The past week I have been working on another space….my writing space. This space started with a desk I fell in love with on Etsy…and now has been transformed into the perfect place that I can sit and write…looking out the window at my gazebo and bird feeders….usually with the dogs laying on the rug next to me or on my bed. It’s not a desk for collecting mail or stuff I have to get done…it’s a space for letting my mind go…for feeling and creating. It’s the place I dream about being when I am at work.
So…back to today being Valentine’s Day. I made it through. I got a cookie from one of my co-worker friends…I adore her…she brings a smile to my face every day. A few people said “Happy Valentine’s Day” to me…which was fine…but I didn’t have to endure any of the awkward “do you have plans for tonight?” conversations. And the best…when I got home…there was a beautiful bouquet of flowers waiting for me from my kiddos. Their Dad taught them well. And now I get to sit and write at my beautiful desk…glass of wine in hand…looking at my gorgeous flowers from the best three things my husband ever gave to me…our kids.