The Spaces

I know I haven’t been writing much. Life is kicking my butt and I’ve been busy constantly taking care of “stuff”. I did manage to cross two things off my list. First and foremost, I fixed my own dishwasher!! Yes…I had some suggestions of what to do from my boss, but I fixed the damn thing! Luckily, the only tools I needed were a screwdriver and a shopvac. Super gross moment when I stuck the hose in the gross dishwasher water and accidentally “blew” it instead of “sucked” it all over myself….who knew the shopvac could even do that?? Second, Seth’s car is all fixed from the hail damage…and now mine is having it’s turn so we are still down a car…but progress is being made.

Other things that happened this week. I got estimates for two types of siding for my house…so now I’m trying to decide which one to go with….ugh…I hate making those types of decisions. The insurance adjuster was out looking at my house. He took a lot of pictures, so hopefully that’s a good sign. I paid the downpayment on my fence, so now I have to get the fence line cleared before Aug 1. Yikes! I also had a weird bug that seemed to really only involve a fever. Woke up Wed morning at 1am with a fever of 101. Fevers make my body and mind do weird things and I hate them. But luckily tylenol and ibuprofen did the trick and now I’m fine. And last, but not least, Levi got All Conference for Tennis. There wasn’t a ceremony…he was just modeling his new dress clothes…lol

Today was kind of a quiet and lonely day. Went to breakfast with the kids this morning and then Anna and I went to Barnes and Noble. I picked up a couple fantasy books and a couple poetry books. Really wanted to find a good fiction book I could lose myself in today, but it hasn’t really worked. Mostly I’ve had this poem writing itself in my head all day. Maybe now that it’s out I can read…ha!

The Spaces

It’s in the spaces
That I miss you.
The space to my left
Where you would walk each evening
My hand in your elbow
Pups along at our sides
Tongues hanging out
Happy to be alive.

It’s in the spaces
That I miss you.
Beside me in the car
Your hand on my thigh
Mine tracing your thumbnail
That weird flat spot
Didn’t matter where we were going
You and me on a drive.

It’s in the spaces
That I miss you.
The smell of tennis balls
The “pop” of a forehand
A fistpump
Look to the sideline
I give a grin
Happy to be your biggest fan.

It’s in the spaces
That I miss you.
Sitting together
Cuddled on the couch
Wine in hand
Long day unwinding
At peace with my man.

It’s in the spaces
That I miss you.
Together watching our kids
The games and the matches
Band concerts
Marching band shows
Proudest of parents.
It’s in the spaces
That I miss you.
Ree and Jas
Out with friends
Dinner and drinks
The smiles and laughs
Carefree and happy
Cherished moments.

It’s in the spaces
That I miss you.
In that drowsy time
Between asleep
And awake
Spooned into your body
Complete contentment
No one else exists.

It’s in the spaces
That I miss you.
Where only you belong
Now I struggle
To make sense of life
Where your light
Was bright
Now darkness.

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