Drowning

I’m feeling pretty rough today….really have been all week…or for a few weeks…months…I don’t know any more. Today is 17 weeks. Saturday will be 4 months. I get teary at work and get hugs from really whoever is willing to give me one…coworkers, members, it doesn’t matter. Went to the bank today and was choking back tears sitting at the banker’s desk. I cried during grief counseling today…not the norm…a lot of times we do more laughing than crying actually! I went out to dinner with a friend….felt better…and then got teary when I got in the car. Called my Mother and Father-in-law and talked with them fine…and then cried after I hung up. I want Jason here to cheer me up in all the ways he only knew how.

Drowning in Grief

Sometimes I think I’m on the verge of being okay.
And then, just kidding, another wave pulls me away.

The shore is getting further and further in the distance.
I’m getting pulled under without much resistance.

Living without my love beside me
Is like swimming with a missing limb in the sea.

There are sharks all around
Watching and waiting for me to drown.

My tribe cheers me on as I swim in the storm
Alone…this is my new norm.

Tired…so tired.

I would do anything for a rest on the beach
With my love right beside me in my reach.

But he has gone where I can’t see
The water gets deeper as my tears run free.
Photo by Aaron Ulsh on Pexels.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s