I’m feeling pretty rough today….really have been all week…or for a few weeks…months…I don’t know any more. Today is 17 weeks. Saturday will be 4 months. I get teary at work and get hugs from really whoever is willing to give me one…coworkers, members, it doesn’t matter. Went to the bank today and was choking back tears sitting at the banker’s desk. I cried during grief counseling today…not the norm…a lot of times we do more laughing than crying actually! I went out to dinner with a friend….felt better…and then got teary when I got in the car. Called my Mother and Father-in-law and talked with them fine…and then cried after I hung up. I want Jason here to cheer me up in all the ways he only knew how.
Drowning in Grief Sometimes I think I’m on the verge of being okay. And then, just kidding, another wave pulls me away. The shore is getting further and further in the distance. I’m getting pulled under without much resistance. Living without my love beside me Is like swimming with a missing limb in the sea. There are sharks all around Watching and waiting for me to drown. My tribe cheers me on as I swim in the storm Alone…this is my new norm. Tired…so tired. I would do anything for a rest on the beach With my love right beside me in my reach. But he has gone where I can’t see The water gets deeper as my tears run free.
Love, Tennis, and Cancer 