Yesterday would have been Jason’s 49th birthday. His 6th since he died at 43. Birthdays that will never be celebrated again are hard days. One of those times that I have learned to just take a pause and give myself space.
This year I went up to the North Shore for a few days. I haven’t really been up there since we explored the area several different times as a family when the kids were younger. It was a great trip. The weather could not have been better…especially for October. The leaves were gorgeous. The lake was showing off all of her best sides.
Nature is healing in all the best ways. Everywhere I look I see signs of how I want to live my life. From the determination and grit of a tree that is growing out of solid rock. To the wildness of a river seemingly contained within its banks, but sneakily eating away at the shore year after year after year. And when I leave this world wouldn’t it be awesome to do it like the leaves on the trees? A glorious splash of color before gently releasing and falling to the forest floor…not being taken away from the earth…but becoming the earth…part of something new.
I capped the day off by meeting with my SIL and toasting Jason with an Old Fashioned…a tradition we both look forward to.
Now I’ll do my best to live 49 for both of us.
