Brainspotting

I love Thursdays because they are therapy day. That sounds really strange to say, but it’s true. When I think back to the end of May….of where I was mentally and emotionally when I first started seeing my therapist…I am literally scared for my life. And I don’t ever want to feel like that again. I’m grateful to the friend who texted me the link to this therapist…twice…and nudged me hard to make an appointment.

Therapy hurts…it’s painful…it’s hard work…but my therapist has shown me time and time again that she’s never going to take me to a painful place and abandon me there. She is always right there with me and brings me back to safety…makes sure I’m on even ground before saying “good bye” for the week.

I’ve had people ask me what my therapist does or what she says or suggests about particular situations. The truth is she doesn’t suggest anything…doesn’t give any advice…or minimal advice if I specifically ask for it. Bottom line…she listens while I talk. The past couple weeks we’ve been doing this technique called “brain spotting”. You can Google it if you want to read more about it, but it’s basically finding the eye position that helps unlock feelings about a particular trauma….then talking those feelings out so completely that the trauma relinquishes it’s hold…at least that’s how it feels to me. My therapist is there to guide me…brings me around to the feelings she wants me to explore deeper…but the rest is all me and my brain doing the work. It feels pretty magical. I’m not a person that likes massages…but it’s what I imagine a good massage would feel like…but for the brain.

Today, I don’t want to think about hospice anymore…so I’m going to focus on this picture from Aug, 2020 instead 🙂