Today was one of the those rare unicorns of a perfect day. I started the day by getting up and journaling as usual. Then the dogs and I decided to take advantage of the gorgeous day and went for a 3.3 mile walk around a lake. Every step of the walk I could feel my body unwinding…my mind stopped spiraling…and my creative self became more and more engaged. It’s such a glorious feeling when the voices in my head start talking to each other. Honestly. And look how pretty Minnesota can be in winter.
When we got home I did the mundane task of making the menu for the week and putting in my grocery order to be picked up. Then I packed up my laptop and took myself on a date to the coffee shop for brunch and some quality time with my creative self.
I always thought it was a weird, not real thing that writers spend a lot of time in coffee shops. I’m telling you…there is something to it! I can sit at a table in the coffee shop with my earbuds in and be totally immersed in whatever it is I’m writing…today Alice had something to say…in a way that can be a struggle for me at home. I’m aware of all the people around me…but still locked in at the same time. I do have to have the earbuds though…otherwise I get bogged down in other people’s conversations.
The rest of my day I just felt like I was in a good place. I picked up my groceries and put them away…did some around the house chores…went back to my writing a little bit (mostly editing)…snuggled a sleepy dog…made dinner. And I just kept thinking…what is it about this day that feels so right? Why do I have a hard time having more days like this one?
And the answer that I came up with is that I prioritized myself today. I knew the two things that I wanted to do for myself today…walk around a lake and write…and I made the rest of the things that I felt I “should” do fit around those things. So simple…but also so hard for me to do. Why? Because we are not taught to put our needs first. Work before play. Peas before dessert. Sacrifice for your family. Guilt comes so swiftly and easily. Well, that’s all bullshit I think. Most weekends I get myself so wrapped up in my to-do list that I paralyze myself. I can even make a planned day away so complicated that I end up bailing on it. I need to go back to the simple…the spontaneous…stop bogging myself down in the details. Then maybe days like today won’t be such unicorns.
Love, Tennis, and Cancer 