The Good Stuff

There are moments in life that make me especially sad that Jason isn’t here to experience them. Sometimes they are big moments…like Anna graduating from college…but sometimes they are smaller. One of those smaller moments happened this weekend…and it hit me so hard I just stood in the kitchen all teary-eyed.

Tennis. It’s a big deal in my family. Our kids all had racquets in their hands even before they could walk. Jason loved to play “driveway tennis” with the kids when they were young. Often, he wouldn’t even make it in the house from work and he would be ambushed. The net would go across the driveway and I would watch from the window as I made dinner. Once they grew out of the driveway, they would head down to the courts. The boys especially vying for their share of Dad’s attention. As their skill grew they would beg him “not to go easy”.

It was devastating for all three of them when Jason couldn’t play anymore. Seth withdrew inside himself. Levi wandered around the house saying “I just want to play tennis”. Jason felt horrible. The easy answer would have been for the boys to hit together, but I think that was too painful without their Dad there. I felt helpless to do anything to make the situation better.

Now, fast-forward four years later…our boys are finally playing tennis together. They are making court times to hit. Doing drill together on Sundays. They came home from hitting on Saturday and the three of us were standing in the kitchen. They were telling me all about it. We were talking about tournaments and pros and this person and that person. And I just got teary. I told the boys “I love it when you’re playing lots of tennis. It makes me happy”. And I just thought…this is the good stuff right here…the two of them FINALLY connecting over their shared passion…why does Jason have to miss this?