Today is the last day of 2024. I took an impromptu day off work to spend some time by myself. I woke up this morning and did my usual morning writing….took the dogs for a walk…and then headed down to Northfield. I spent some time walking along the river and then poked around my favorite bookstore and yarnshop. Now I’m sitting in a coffee shop in front of a fireplace…reflecting on the year.
2024 was a memorable one for me. It was the year I hit rock bottom. When my despair…grief…sadness…loneliness…all became so heavy, and yet so familiar, that it was easier to just lay at the bottom of the hole by myself than try to get up again. I was going through all the motions of living…but inside I felt nothing. And then halfway through 2024 that all began to change for me. I know I talk about my therapist all the time, but she made all the difference in my life.
The second half of 2024 was all about rediscovering who I am now and learning to love that person and trust and depend on her. It’s been full of tears…a lot of tears…so many tears. But also hope…real smiles…belly laughs…so many good times with my kids, family, and friends…and good times by myself.
I’ve been working on being more true to what my heart needs and less worried about trying to make everyone else happy. I’m learning to value true and genuine relationships based on mutual trust and emotional connection. I’m learning my own self-worth and confidence in myself as a person. I drive a Bronco and I love her….she helps me feel like I have a partner in this life against a world that often tries to beat me down. I love wearing overalls, Doc Marten boots, and winter caps. I order tonic water with cranberry juice when I go out because I stopped drinking. Music makes my soul happy and also helps me connect with my kids. Nature helps me feel connected to myself…all other living things…the Universe…God. I am a writer…even when I’m not writing…I think in words…poems…stories. Grief will always live inside of me, but that doesn’t feel like a bad thing anymore.
When I look at my future. I see a journey…an adventure…chapters unwritten…and that feels exciting…like something I should stick around for.
Happy New Year!
Love, Tennis, and Cancer 
This made me cry. All you’ve been through. I only knew Jason through our partnership on the Court, but based on what I knew of him, he would be so proud of you Marie.
And please keep writing! Your voice shines through.
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First off I’m not happy I have to pull out readers to leave a comment because the print is so small. I didn’t have this problem reading your beautiful year in review. I’m so happy for you and some days I wish I could drive away in that Ford Bronco. I am a Ford girl you know! Our youngest is dealing with a lot of anxiety and mental health stuff…not fun.
I hope 2025 continues to bless you in unexpected ways! 💜💜💜
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