Sometimes I feel like my subconscious brain is out to sabotage me….like during the night it pulls forward all of the things that I don’t really want to think about so that “bam!” there they are waiting for me the second I open up my eyes. Not surprisingly given this time of year…this morning it was hospice days waiting for me. I don’t want to think about those days…much less talk about them…write about them…begin to process them… Those days are the ultimate knot of mixed up raw emotion…and that knot has only gotten more complicated as time has gone on. I’m not going to begin to try to unravel that by myself right now…but I am hoping that by letting my brain acknowledge it we can put it aside for a bit (until therapy tomorrow!) and live in this day.
On this day…July 31, 2024…I have a lot to look forward to. One of them being a trip to Glacier National Park in August, 2025 with Anna, Levi, and Svea. Every time I see pictures of this gorgeous landscape my heart literally skips a beat. I’m reminded of when Jason and I went to Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado about 14ish years ago. I tried to convince Jason then that we should move to be closer to the mountains…but he nixed that idea….wanting to stay close to family…which of course I understood. There’s just something about the mountains though!
We were originally thinking we would stay in a lodge inside of the park, but after looking at the room options…two double beds is the biggest…we decided to VRBO a place instead. We’re still close to the park, but now will have a kitchen, laundry, and everyone will have their own bed! It took a lot of stress about the trip off my plate to get that booked. I know I say it all the time…but Anna’s brain is so like her Dad…she knows the things that stress me out and actually likes to do what needs to be done to take that stress away. She had so many tabs open on her browser last night it was giving me anxiety….but it was so reminiscent of her Dad.
Now to pick myself up and move in this day where one of my friends is going to teach me the art of thrifting before I go to work. Should be fun!
Love, Tennis, and Cancer 