This week I’ve been working extra hard to keep my mental/emotional state on an even keel despite some “landmines”. Sunday was the Super Bowl and the first year that I was home alone with no plans. Do I care about the Super Bowl….no…but it was one of those things that we always did…even if we were just home watching with the kids and some snacks. This year Seth was working and Levi went to his girlfriend’s house. When Seth left the house he looked at me and said “You’re just staying home by yourself?” When I said “yup” I could tell he knew I was having a rough time, but I assured him I was fine. So…I was left with an empty house…and zero desire to watch the Super Bowl by myself…so I drank wine…put on some music…rearranged some furniture…and did some retail therapy online.
Monday I was glad to have some self-care already planned. Lunch with friends…which was fantastic…and then the usual Forced Fregien Family Food and Fun. Honestly, I think calling it “Forced” at this point is a lie. We all love it so much it doesn’t feel “Forced” at all. We tried three new recipes this week…Chicken Pad Thai, Chicken Fried Rice, and Brownies with Frosting. It was all edible, but nothing that will be made again…lol.
Yesterday I worked during the day and got to listen to all my coworkers talk about their Valentine’s Day plans…ouch. I had a good dinner with a friend after work. Then got home to see that Levi had set up the results of my Sunday retail therapy. I actually sat outside with my book for a bit last night and had my coffee on the deck this morning.
Today I really want to just hide out in my house and not see any people, but I have to work the closing shift…so I’m gearing myself up for all the inevitable Valentine’s Day questions/comments. What I really want is Jason sitting in that second chair on the deck…enjoying morning coffee with me…throwing the ball for Emmett…yelling at Linc to stop barking back at a dog that’s two blocks away…letting me warm up my chilly nose on his neck. Instead I’m just getting through another hard day without him.
Love, Tennis, and Cancer 