Last night I went to the Empty Chair Service for the third year. That hits me in the gut….the third Christmas already without Jason. I think the only things that makes it a little bit easier are the routines/traditions that the kids and I have worked out. At least when we’re asked what we’re doing for the Holiday we can just say “the usual”. Fondue Christmas Eve…brunch Christmas Day…as much time together playing games as we can handle.
The Empty Chair Service has become part of my routine. My time to sit….take a breath…let everything else go away… Every year is pretty much the same…but every year it feels a little different all the same…like I hear the words differently…or they hit me in a different place. This year I kept finding myself getting irritated…I’ve got to sit with that for awhile.
Yesterday morning I went to the Zoo by myself. Sitting in my house on my days off has not been good for my mental health…and I have a Zoo membership…so why not? I felt like it was me and then a whole bunch of stressed, sleep-deprived young moms with kiddos in strollers. Doesn’t seem so long ago I was one of them. I laughed out loud at this one little boy. He was probably 3. His mom was trying to keep it all together…stroller full of stuff…and he’s standing there at about 9:30am asking “When are we going to have lunch?” Levi still asks me that when we are on vacation.
And in good news….my Baby Girl is finally home from school! I get her for about 10 days and then she’s off to South Africa again!
Love, Tennis, and Cancer 