Alice

The Wrong Alice

Gave up on sleep again
Pad on barefeet into the kitchen
Dogs barely rouse
They are used to this
By now

The refrigerator hums 
In the stillness
As it offers
It’s fresh, cool
Elixir

Desk lamp clicks on
Windows are dark eyes
Forcing me to
Focus
Within

Dogs rearrange themselves
Warm bodies
Find new spots
As they lay
At my feet

Sleep finds them immediately
Emmett snores lustily
His fur tickling my toes
With each
Exhale

Why does sleep elude me?
Like some holy grail
A treasure to be
Sought after
Each night

My brain runs wild and rampant
In the dark, cold night
Like a toddler
Unable to
Settle

A trip to the bathroom
A glass of water
Ceiling fan on
And then off
Again

Anxiety whirls and whirls
Like the fan blades
Winding me up
Like a rubberband
Propeller

Heart pounding inside
Broken rhythm
Painful and loud
Inside my
Chest

My mind unravels 
As I throw words
On the page
Insane
Poetry

I feel like the
Wrong Alice
Down the
Rabbit
Hole

Where is the jabberwocky
I need to slay
To rediscover
Myself
And sleep

I really have to figure out this not sleeping thing. I’ve been thinking big “life thoughts” about risks…the pursuit of happiness…dreams…regrets…self-discovery…you know the usual…lol. What do you think? Is it better to regret something that you did? Or to regret not having done something? I hit one of my friends with that question in a text right around 9am Monday morning. Big Monday Musings.