Darkness comes so fast outside my window. The nights so long. I’m trying to stock up on my winter “cozy” things…puzzles, candles, knitting project, music, books, hot drinks, blankets, sweaters, wool socks…but they are all just poor substitutes for Jason to snuggle up to. How I miss just sitting next to him on the couch…cold toes tucked under his thighs or on his lap. I would be knitting or reading. He would be watching a tv show or movie. Not necessarily doing anything together, but just being together…enjoying each other’s company. So many evenings spent like that. Now even when I’m immersed in a book…I’m lonely.
On the good days I can get one of the kids to hang out with me for a little bit. Anna was home this past weekend. We spent a lot of time puzzling and puttering with plants. Seth was busy working and Levi was busy with Homecoming and working. I think they like it when Anna is home because they know she’s taking care of me. She always seems to know when I’m having an exceptionally bad time.
Go First If you’re lucky You will go First Your Love by your side As you leave Earth And your Love will grieve Till his last Day But he won’t have too long Till he’s on his Way Or you could be me And he goes First And he’s way too young When he leaves Earth And you will grieve for years Struggle day after Day Because without his love You have lost your Way
Love, Tennis, and Cancer 