Sitting In The Dark

“When you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark” —Mad Hatter

One of my favorite quotes from “Alice in Wonderland” and describes pretty perfectly where I’m at right now. Frankly, I am exhausted…physically, emotional, spiritually, socially…all the ways a person can be tired…I am.

The vast majority of the time I am with people I’m pasting on my smile…forcing my laugh…pretending I’m doing okay. The proverbial “fake it til you make it”. I’m not making it.

When I’m alone, by myself and I can let my fake smile drop it is such a relief. I still have a hard time completely feeling my feelings…my person who could put me back together after I fall apart is no longer here. I feel like if I let myself go to pieces I will not be able to stop.

So I will be thankful for the few people in my life that are not made uncomfortable by my grief. That aren’t constantly trying to cheer me up. Who will just sit with me in my sadness…in my darkness…give me a shoulder to cry on…a hug…and know that happiness is not for me right now…maybe someday…but not today.

3 thoughts on “Sitting In The Dark

  1. Marie I like the Mad Hater quote too. I am happy to hear you have some people in your life who can accept you where you are – a woman grieving a tremendous loss. I am too far away to sit and listen but I hope you know I hold you and your children in my heart. I hope you keep on writing. 🍁Judy Tierney

    Sent from my iPhone

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  2. Marie,
    Remember that there are no rules or timelines for your grief. Grace is a beautiful thing and I pray that you feel it, along with signs of Jason’s loving and everlasting presence. May you find more and more moments of comforting peace as you navigate through the lonely darkness.
    ❤️ Jodi

    Like

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